MALAY WEDDING BLITZ

When a couple decides to tie the knot a wedding aura suddenly fills the air. This goes without saying. The feeling of sensation quickly take charge especially to those close to the couple. Now; what was supposed to be the decision of the two has become the responsibility of many: parents, relatives and close associates. What was supposed to be a simple ceremony has become an intricate family undertakings. What was supposed to be a simple religious obligations, has developed to an ecstasy of family merriments. That was the way most Malay weddings were before, and that is still the way it is today.

Present day, school term breaks saw lots of Malay Wedding receptions full of traditions, pomps and styles. Needless to say that, the present Malays are getting more affluent and extravagan. These are reflected in most present day wedding ceremonies. Each family wanted to excel for the best.

Come school breaks, most of us would be bombarded with specially custom designed invitation cards. As one travels around the country signboards with colourful ‘bunga manggar’ displayed on most road junctions easilly catch the eyes. Even the Road Traffic Lights are not spared from being posted with these signboards.

It’s a phenomenon, and is constantly renewed with new trappings.

Nowadays Malay weddings befitting an up-market industry. In the like of The Rich and The Famous, The Upper and The Middle Class communities, wedding celebrations readilly command on an average of between RM50, 000.00 to RM100,000.00 per event. Some surpass the amount to a couple of million ringgits.These facts are true, though hard to believe to be real. But in the true sense that is what Malay Weddings are all about. The Mas Kahwin, The Hantaran, The Wedding Ring, The wedding dresses, the accompanying assessories ( mostly of branded items ) alone would cost to an average amount of between RM25,000.00 to RM50,000.00. Then the Akad Nikah reception and The Bersanding receptions both at the family house and at the dewan or the banquet halls of 4 to 5 star hotels for an average guest lists of 500 invitees for each.

Even the ordinary simple traditional village wedding ceremony would cost not less than RM40,000.00 per event.

There was this saying in Sabah: in a Bajau community the hantaran for the brides hand is by the number of Buffalo the groom must fulfill to be decided on the numbers of pillars there is in her ancestral home. Most rich bride come from a big ancestral house, with lots of pillar, and hence the family would demand more buffalo as the hantaran. To the Bajau the nature of the hantaran from the groom should always befitting the status of the bride’s family. And so wil the wedding receptions. If this is true for the Bajaus, then the same goes with other Malay etnics. Only the form, the nature, and the formula of how the hantaran to be, differs.

Weddings are blissful occasions. A Historical and auspicious moments especially for those dearly involved. Normally each occasion meticulously planned and executed by all concern. Marriage merriments blitz often surpass its limit. The plan, fluid but complex, largely influence by each ethnic's version of ‘Adat Perkahwinan’.

Even, way back in the Fifties and the Sixties when most kampong Malays were hardcore poor, rural Malay weddings still befitting the lustrous occasion it intended to be, resulting with the family having to bear the brunt of accumulated debts.

In Malay community, each and everyone positioned themselves as creative lots, when planning wedding events. Each wanted to include his or her own fair share in incoporating the ‘Adat Perkahwinan’. Some with minimum knowledge on the ‘Adat Perkahwinan' or having bare knowledge on how to design an event, still confidently position themselves as event managers. They ardently proved themselves as to be resourceful, experienced and creative with new innovations among their peers. This was so because wedding preparation those days directly involved close relatives, neighbors and friends. Family synergy reign high; and normally the practice was for them to senergized their effort befitting the Malay Saying: “Bulat Air Kerana Pembetung, Bulat Manusia Kerana Mufakat.”

Firstly the collective decision on the auspicious day. The chosen dates for the ‘Akad Nikah’ and ‘The Bersanding Ceremonies’ in close reference the Muslim Lunar Calender and in consultation with the local elders, Mualim or Imam. The announcement would be done during the ‘Bertunang’ or Betrothal Ceremony, a tradition still practiced today.

Most engagement would last for years. There were instances where couple was symbolically engaged right after birth. Pity though: they have to undergo a long wait from 15 to 20 years for the matrimony.

The checklist for a Malay Wedding event was common. Firstly relatives, family members were booked (invited) months in advance. The congregation of families from far and near for the events beginning a couple of weeks earlier. Together they plotted and planned the occasion. As usual the elders expected to be consulted on all matters pertaining to adat or tradition. Each likens their very own version, concepts and interpretation of the adat on the Family Traditions & Practices. Families from inter marriages sometimes loggerheads on the way of the Adat to follow. For example, Negeri Sembilan Malays The Minangkabau, and The Johore Malays The Bugis from Riau have their own set of well guarded matrimony customs & traditions.

Planning complexities at time caused resentments amongst relatives and family members. So are to the Perak Malays, Kedah Malays, Kelantan,Terengganu and Pahang Malays. Each Malay community is entitled to implement their own Adat Perkahwinan.

When close family congregate family gossips rules the day. Family squabble always put the host in awkward position. They are not expected to side any party as not to offend them. They abstained - have no say, except only to agree. The option the have was only to pray to Allah that all will be well on the D-day.

I remember in 1950 the Marriage ceremony of my Auntie Yah to her cousin, the 1st university graduate from our clan. Tok Anjang had to give way to the wishes of Opah Zaharah his elder sister that the groom would be brought in an air plane (model) for the Akad Nikah and The Bersanding ceremony befitting the groom status a graduate from Al Azhar, Mesir. Opah Zaharah insisted that the wedding procession to take place all the way from the groom’s residence about 2 miles away to Tok Anjang house. She claimed as The Godmother to the bride, she had the right to the decision. So a set of protocol for the agenda was to be planned, incorporating the wish of Opah Zaharah, plus additional wishes of other unties and uncles.

According to the plan the procession would be led by Pasukan Silat, Pasukan Kompang,Pasukan Pengiring, Pasukan Pembawa Hantaran, lead by Pasukan Pembawa Bunga Manggar with The Groom in the air plane in tow, to be followed behind by the Groom’s Family, relatives, neighbours and friends.

I was 9 then and was really looking forward to the occasion. I don’t mind the daylong journey down Bernam River by sampan from Tanjung Bayan to Bagan Sungai Tiang and the 3 miles long walk to Kampung Sungai Lancang.

We were a week early for the event. The tradition was that, a week before the ceremony, all close relatives far and near would converge for the Mengantung Ceremony, an occasion no close family members could abstain from. For that I had to skip class, (of course) this time with my parents’ permission. The school authority was duly informed. Permission granted as it was the end of final term.

May uncle Pak Long Ismail was to model and construct the airplane The plan was that; the mainframe of the airplane was to be constructed from materials of bamboo and areca nut trunk to withstand the weight of the groom (a physically sturdy 35 years old man). A chair was carefully tugged into the cockpit, meant only for the groom. It’s a one seater-airplane.

PakLong Ismail roped me into his committee. It was a proud moment for me. My role (with the help of my other uncle, Pak Pendek – we’re of the same age) was to trap alive as many Kumbang Hitam (a type of wasp with poisonous sting) we could. The technique was simple. A few Kumbang Hitam would be loosely wrapped into a piece of thin clothes. An empty can would be placed over them. By nature the wasp wings vibrate under the weight of the empty can. The vibrations would produced a droning sound like the sound of the distant plane. The empty can amplified the droning sound. How much the wasp suffered being sandwiched under those big cans nobody bothers.The louder the sound they produced the better.

Each wasp would last for some ten to fifteen minutes and need to be replaced.

The airplane model was completed in time. Tok Anjang and Opah Zaharah laud the result as a genius feat by Pak Long Ismail and his co-workers.

For the procession a few selected members from the Pasukan Silat was to carry the airplane life size model on their shoulders for the 2 miles journey from the Groom’s house to the bride’s place. As agreed Pak Long Ismail was to deliver the airplane to the Groom’s house before noon on the wedding day. Only then to discover that some basic thing was overlook by Pak Long Ismail and his builders.on the dimension and the size of the airplane. The model just could not be moved out from Tok Anjang’s house, that served as its hanger. The plane had a wing span around 20 feet long on each side. Tok Anjang’s house was situated right in the middle of coconut plantation. The rows of coconut palms that lined the path from Tok Anjang’s house to the main road are causing obstacles. It took them a couple of hours negotiating every palm tree for the 500 yards journey to the main road.

Luck was on their side. The processions did take place on time as planned, only that the airplane run short of proper runways at Tok Anjang’s compound. It landed some distant away. From there the groom have to be carried on the shoulder to complete his journey.

That was what I remember on Untie Yah’s wedding blitz before Merdeka, more than 50 years ago.

Then there was this incident a few years ago ( this time after Merdeka ) where an elaborate wedding procession became sour. This time the Groom had to ride on a decorated buffalo. The mishap happen at the bride’s house in a Melaka Village bordering Negeri Sembilan.The groom was from a nearby village in Negeri Sembilan. The two parties are of Minangkabau descendent. More so both parents were bosom buddies serving in the Malayan Police Force in Pahang during the Emergency. The bride and the groom grew up together in the police barracts and attended the same school in Temerloh District. They later pursue their University Education overseas. Both came back to Malaysia and became successful partners of a consultant firm. Their parents had by now retired. They resides in the respective kampongs, in Negeri Sembilan and Melaka.

Their bonds of friendship thicken with times, and what was just colleague in the force then now considered each other as close kin. More so their 2 kids were once ‘simbolicly betrotal ’(engaged ) as a symbol of their long lasting friendship.

There was no hitch on the long standing engagements for the couple. They took it as fated and Godsend (takdir Allah). On their own convictions they only plan to tie the knot after completing their studies abroad. It’s going to be a simple ‘akad nikah’ceremony, in a mosque and a small kenduri.

But during those long years of waiting, their parents had planned otherwise. They had put aside a big chunk of their savings for the wedding blitz. Each plan to host sumptuous wedding together with traditional trippings to be remember by relatives and friends. It’s going to be pageantry occasions, uplifting The Minangkabau family traditional cultures, values & customs with it pomp and grandeur.

The decision was; the groom to ride a ‘buffalo’ procession, the way wedding processions done some 50 years ago. Both parent wish must be fulfilled at whatever cost, though the groom and the bride argued otherwise. It’s their long standing wait for the auspicious event they have long dream of.

The reception at the bride’s house was full of pomp and colours. The event was accompanied by Dondang Sayang Party. The air was fills with oldies bringing back nostalgic feeling to the host as well the guests. The ambience war right. Everyone ready to party. There was also some foreign tourist in the crowd with their cameras covering the event.

As the groom arrived riding on a decorated buffalo, the bride was escorted to the main door to receive him. There were exchanges of Pantun from both sides. All went well as planned. The exchange of Pantun with stanzas well befitting both bride and the groom.

Suddenly there was this loud explosion of fire crackers as the climax to herald the procession. The buffalo jumped in shock, quickly released its burden before running into the padi field. Although, the groom’s best man was in tow, he was quite a distant behind the bull buffalo. Though he managed to grab the groom from falling down, but then the path to the house was slippery due to a shower earlier. Both the groom and the best man landed in a muddy pool.